i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
When are your genitals available?
Randomize
