census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize