I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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