Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
