I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
