Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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