he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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