man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
