there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
