I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
