No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
