he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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