I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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