so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
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