Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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