is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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