Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
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