Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
She needs sedatives and a leash
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
