We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
