Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
