when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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