I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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