Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Found the puke drawer
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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