I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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