can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
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