I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
