are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
