i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
