Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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