u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
