Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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