i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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