btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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