When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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