I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
