Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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