just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
then he tried to convert me to islam
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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