I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Can't talk, ducks in the car
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