I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
don't judge my taste in strippers
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
