just survived the first fart of the relationship.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
