peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
