Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
