I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
