it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
