no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
