yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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