Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
