I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
