She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I need a hoe opinion
go on
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
