There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
