I bet he comes in French.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
