Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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